Cimorene

↵ The highlight of my month was finding a cream chartreuse nailpolish. (I've been dying for some ever since I saw the image in my icon, which is from the 2008 Lavazza Espresso calendar, so.)

↵ Dammit, that is the second time I have dreamt about Adam Lambert. I don't understand why I'd have multiple dreams where the whole point of his presence is to perform at a concert, but I don't get to dream about the concert even though I want to see it both in the dream and reality, and even though I have actually seen him perform a concert in real life. >:[!!! I'm being tormented by my own subconscious with withheld Adam Lambert concerts! WHY?

↵ This very much makes me want to see a particular production of a show live, which has never happened to me before at all (at least not with a show that was still in the future. I would really have liked to have seen the lesbian version of Hamlet that someone-or-other famously put on one time). But all-male gay Swan Lake with a closeted prince? *_* But come on, nobody can afford to go to New York! At least go on tour or something! :|

↵ waxjism wistfully mentioned trying to sign up to co-write for Lambliff Big Bang together, under the theory that it might make our mutual writer's block easier to overcome. We have wildly different levels of investment in Adam Lambert fandom, but surprisingly similar feelings about fic about him. The problem is we each had one tiny kernel of an idea and couldn't imagine working on the other's. She was talked into signing up anyway with her idea, and I had to abandon the idea because without the excuse & motivation of writing with her (doing something as a favor to one's wife is always virtuous, sort of like writing for Yuletide. I wish all year was just a series of Yuletide-like multifandom challenges), I couldn't see writing a story about two white guys right now, even if one of them is an out gay dude. But now, after that 5 seconds of pitifully stunted hope, I'm feeling disproportionately disappointed.

↵ Jeans that fit. I know it's a universal problem, but I kind of go through stages with being more-or-less satisfied, versus stages (like now) when I kind of don't want to wear any pants because none of them fit quite right. I put on my cords for the first time in ≈1yr and experienced a brief revelation followed by a period of anger: "Why can't all pants fit like this?!" Then I remembered the reason they fit like that is that I redid the outer leg seam from ankle to hip pocket. I can't do this with all my jeans because a) denim is heavy and b) it only works if the waistband and rise are good & only the leg/hip is loose. It's also very annoying that waxjism and I can almost always borrow each other's shoes and even wear the same size of Converse but I can't wear her 8-hole Dr Martens even for the amount of time it takes to walk the dog without my poor toes being squashed & cramping.

↵ Anxiety, depression. It's as bad as anticipated or slightly worse, given my lack of motivation has spread from preparing what I consider "real meals" to actually eating. A week ago I spent 2 days feeling sort of sick because I almost completely forgot to eat. 6 days until I see a psychiatrist! I am, however, looking forward to having regular scheduled social interaction this winter which may help combat my SAD & hopefully, possibly, also my social anxiety. pierydys and I are planning to go to a weekly Finnish for Beginners course in Rauma (which is something of a commute, ouch. But it's not like I have anything better to do?) and combine it with some kind of crafting day. And morningfine at least has agreed to trying to get together weekly or biweekly this winter to watch things, the way we did when we were going through the Highlander box set. Of course we very much hope that bluesbell and anglepoiselamp will join these gatherings as well.